The “Real” Family Feud

“All families hurt each other. Mistakes are made. Expectations unmet. Jealousies fester.”— Jay Z

The year is 2018 and I am enjoying my current life status. Times were not always like this.

In 32 days I will take on a new identity, life, and another chapter in this story book begins.

A friend close to me once said, “For every level there’s a new devil.” Very true, so true. In my early days , I grew accustom to challenges faced by lots of people.

I observed families stricken by AIDS and HIV, the crack epidemic, and poverty. There was so much that I wanted to understand at that time. For example, why certain family wasn’t welcome during the holidays, why my parents argued with their parents, and why men and women looked at the world differently.

These were not the only tragedies that took place. Somedays were filled with sporadic highs and lows.

Even my own path to being a mother and starting a family proved to be complex. It was a rite of passage into the world as I know it today.

Rumors about me never once came close to the truth but left tears and hurt my soul. Family members hatred of themselves quickly became their hatred towards me. Lies, little ones and big ones too. Needless to say I survived.

Today only scarce remnants remain of the person I once was. Folks still gossip and spread lies. People do it different these days, instead of to your face or behind your back, social media is the playground to do their dirty work.

Online platforms allow us to get to know each other in a non-consequential manner and unwarranted conclusions are drawn.

This takes me way, way back to my days as a child in the 80’s. I recall broken families. Anger and pain running through the veins of every soul around me. Hurt people hurt people. Husbands and wives cheating and children in foster care. To be honest, not much has changed.

People sometimes asks me who I think is to blame or why we still broke? As stated in Jay and Beys Family Feud:

“The wretched of the earth do not decide to become extinct, they resolve, on the contrary, to multiply: life is their only weapon against life, life is all that they have.” — James Baldwin

This makes me think about what the future holds. We live in a time where it is acceptable for our government to berate it’s journalist taking away the freedom of the people. We are lead by an autocracy of public shaming.

American families look to the government to blame. Who’s willing to drop their current facade, turn on the status quo and the American Dream, confess, and repent.

What do we owe one another? Social media and new technologies make it easier to hide our true faces. In the new Jay Z video, DuVernay encourages us to look within our own homes:

“Being their brilliant, black, brave, bold selves. May we all fortify our families. Our communities. Our society. In whatever

ways we can.” — DuVernay

Hey y’all the chickens have come home to roost. Until we address and heal the issues in our communities, we stand the chance of repeating the same history of the last 2000 years.

The 444 title of the album represents moving forward. Start your journey fresh and do not succumb to old ways of the past.

It’s our time to put the old things aside. Forgiveness is crucial component in the connected story of our lives. We must adopt a new mind and leave behind are olden ways of abuse of one another.

We must accept what has happen and forgive at the same time. This is the only way to end the real family feud.


Author: Hannah


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